I’m working on a new website and new business (ad)venture that I hope to launch this spring. Stay tuned!
I had a revelation about how God was transforming me. I thought my OLW (one little word) “transform” was related to my body…losing weight, feeling better, healing my gut. I thought I needed to be transparent and create an online journal to be real and relatable. I don’t need to do that. I realized after some prayer and reflection that it’s much deeper than that and the transformation is about my heart and my mind and not so much about my physical body.
I had no idea why God put me back in yoga again until today when I was in class and we were doing a lot of hip openers and of course I cried, just like I used to. Crying was the reason I stopped going to yoga in my early thirties. I was in so much pain and felt betrayed by my body and it was emotionally overwhelming and I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t want to deal with it and didn’t want a class full of people, as compassionate as they were, standing around the “girl that cries in every class.”
Today I felt that anger again and the betrayal of my body and disappointment and regret but instead of pushing it away, I let myself feel all those things.
The yoga instructor talked about how we often live our lives like we get our power and passion from our pain–and we use it as our fuel.
Revelation: I realized I have been doing that and convincing myself it was good because I want to help people.
I spend too much time thinking about my pain and the things I can’t do or the food I can’t have. My pain (anger, disappointment, inner rage) fuels me. I’m consumed by it.
I define myself by my chronic conditions and I’ve made them very powerful. They have fueled my passion to become a health coach. The overcoming in some instances but also the identity I’ve created from having them.
Some may say, “That’s great! Use it as a blessing to help other people!” and that’s what I’ve done–that is the entire reason I created my business, to use it as a ministry to help other people. But really, that is using my pain as my power and passion. I want my power and passion to come from Jesus, not my pain or diseases.
When you look normal but are in tremendous pain you almost feel like you have to wear a sign that says “I’m really sick!” so people leave you alone and lower their expectations. I’ve used my identity as “autoimmune disease person” to fuel my business and yes, part of that is being emphatic and understanding what it’s like, especially for people that can’t eat anything without reacting but it’s been the gas in the engine of my business and really my life for the past several years.
I think this is about me unyoking myself from the identity that I’ve created for myself and living a life where I believe that my passion and power come from Jesus alone and not from my pain or disease. I’m not sure exactly how that will play out and how I make that switch in my personal life and my business–but that is what I’m going to be working on.
Do you do this? Do you have something in your life, a pain or maybe some kind of trauma (divorce, illness, death of a loved one) that keeps you going?
I’m giving away two of my favorite essential oil blends, Whisper and ClaryCalm in a Girls Rule giveaway!
Because lets face it, girls do rule. We do a lot this time of the year so I’m celebrating Girl Power that gets it all done.
I use Whisper every day as my perfume. It smells divine but it also helps with depression, mood swings, infertility. It mixes with your body’s own scent and so it’s unique to everyone that wears it (yes, men can wear it too).
ClaryCalm is a must for anything hormonal especially PMS and cramps, mood swings, hot flashes, postpartum mood swings.
This is a fantastic giveaway and I hope that you enter, even if you never enter these kinds of things!
Our Christmas was wonderful. We go to church Christmas Eve and it’s my favorite service of the entire year despite how crowded it is. The music, the family, Silent Night—I love it.
The clean up after Christmas is kind of depressing though, isn’t it? It’s a never-ending mess of dishes, boxes, paper. I hit the wall last night and could not do one more thing. My feet hurt from being on them for two days straight, my back hurt, my brain cells were dead. I felt and looked like a zombie.
When that happens, I just have to go to bed and hope for renewal the next morning—and it came! I’m up and feel better and although I’m not quite ready to do anything strenuous, I’m hoping the real burst of energy and enthusiasm will come mid-morning.
Using Whisper this morning helps though–it puts me in a good mood.
What do you do this week between Christmas and New Years? I use it to get organized, visit family and spend time with my kids.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
December and this entire fall season have been a blur.
I’ve been doing and reflecting and soul-searching about my life and my business.
The photo above shows a typical day here. Kids on an electrical device, three dogs (one sleeping, one trying to mooch a snack and the other looking for squirrels), stuffed animals, blankets, pillows. Shopping bags in the background with gifts waiting to be wrapped.
I signed up for Michael Hyatt’s Best Year Ever course and it totally messed me up. At first, I was all gung-ho and I made my list of goals and was really excited. Then about a day later I was really depressed almost because I realized my goals were too small. Suddenly I just wanted to quit everything and find a good book and call it a day.
I also was thinking of what word I was going to choose for One Little Word. This year my word was PURPOSE and it was an awesome word because I really do feel like I’m on the path to figuring it out (I may never figure it out but I think I’m on the right path–see the difference?). I wrote about that here and here.
That last post about my Here & Now has a crazy ending. So I knew in my heart that I was supposed to be doing something more than sharing healthy tips with you. I felt it in my bones–a deep sense of “Don’t miss this!” from God. Well, shortly after I wrote that post, I was looking for a place to donate a bunch of my devotional books (Hi, I’m a huge Beth Moore fan and own every book she’s written). I thought a women’s prison would be a great place so I looked online and found God of Hope Prison Ministry and thought that was a perfect audience for these books. I noticed they needed life coaches and I thought, I’m a health coach but let me just go and see what this is all about.
So I visited THE PRISON.
Let me just tell you I have a fear of going to prison and I have claustrophobia.
So, I go and visit and on the outside it looks like a factory (with barbed wire) but on the inside it looks (and is!) ALL PRISON–just like you would imagine.
I get into the Christian women’s dorm and they had just started their worship service and I am telling you, God is so good. He put me there for a reason. One of the songs they were singing had the words “Here and now…..” and I just knew this is where I am supposed to be helping. These women are totally broken but have such amazing faith and hope in Jesus. It makes me cry even to tell you about it because it took me going to prison to realize I needed to have more of what they have in my life. That arms held high, head-over-heels, bathed in mercy kind of hope and love that only comes from God.
I signed up to be a life coach to these women in prison and I start in January. For those that know me, this has been a very big shock and I understand that reaction. Our housekeeper in Los Angeles would go and sing in the prisons and I thought she was sweet and wonderful but CRAZY (honestly I questioned her judgment) and I even said ‘God, I do not want to do that.”
Please stop me if I ever say that again.
My biggest concern about doing this is seriously that they have the worst florescent lighting.
I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with it because they won’t allow you to bring in sunglasses.
So back to my goals and my word for 2015: I have goals in my business and I’m always kind of “meh” about them because I really love to help people and I’m not motivated by money. But I felt like I should have that motivation–maybe that would be the missing link for me. I felt like maybe I need “ABUNDANCE” as my goal so that I get more coming in back to me this year and it would make me want to work harder. That got me excited! The year of abundance!
I was all set on ABUNDANCE—I began to embrace it and feel like that was it—could not wait for the abundance coming in. Bring on the abundance! And that is precisely when I started to get depressed and I thought about quitting.
Why can’t I just be normal and go with the abundance?
I felt like I was not reaching deep enough and I was supposed to be doing something scary–the whole BHAG (big, hairy, audacious goal). Something outside of my comfort zone and impossible to reach unless I totally relied upon God.
For me that is something physical. YES, I feel so much better, I have so much energy, I feel 1,000,000 times better than I did 10 or even 20 years ago. But I am still a mess, I still struggle DAILY with feeling good in my body and with these chronic diseases, I *manage* my health. I’m better at helping other people than I am at helping myself.
So with that said, I’ve had some health issues come up outside of the autoimmune realm and I know I need to address them. Stage 3 adrenal fatigue and cardiovascular issues that are not diet related.
Blah, blah, blah, I signed up to be a Holy Yoga Instructor.
THIS, for me, IS MORE SCARY THAN THE PRISON MINISTRY.
First of all the list of cons for this is a mile long starting with these:
- I cannot touch my toes.
- I am ten pounds overweight.
- My down dog, even when I was in my twenties and practicing yoga every week, is pathetic. I cannot get my heels down on the ground to save my life.
- I have never in my life been flexible.
- I still have chronic pain.
- I haven’t been in a regular yoga practice in almost twenty years.
- I am sore after the most gentle, restorative class.
- I don’t want to teach a yoga class.
- I have lost my mind.
- I’ve been to about 10 yoga classes in the past ten years.
- I quit going to yoga in my twenties because the decline in my health made me cry in every class.
- I don’t want to do this.
- I’m afraid.
- I’m embarrassed! I don’t want to be the only one that can’t touch their toes.
- Why am I doing this?
- Really, WHY am I doing this?
- This is the LAST thing I want to do.
- Do not make me do this.
And I realized, thanks to Michael Hyatt and my husband, these are limiting beliefs and I need to do this for ME and my health.
The ONLY way I will consistently go to yoga is if I do this because I have to show up. Buying a package does nothing for me because I just won’t go and yes, I feel guilty about wasting the money but I still just won’t go.
Note to clients that pay for my services and then don’t follow my advice: I so understand you.
The tiny hopeful part of me: Yoga is the only exercise that really relaxes me and I will never be the power yoga type of person but I can do restorative yoga and who knows, maybe I will like it and want to help other people do it as well.
It’s 225 hours of yoga training and then a week long retreat in May. It’s a Jesus-based yoga ministry so it’s a lot of Bible study which I love (give me the books instead of the mat!) but also I will need to be DOING yoga and then have to teach a class. I know that sounds obvious but for me, this is the scariest goal I’ve ever had and I really don’t want to do it.
My word for 2015: TRANSFORM.
The dictionary definition is:: to change (something) completely and usually in a good way.
I LOVE that it’s usually in a good way! I’m all over that definition!
God is surely transforming me in all of this.
I’ve been busy, busy, busy working on my 10 month cleanse called 10:10 and I hope to share that with you right after Christmas. We go through 10 body systems–really learning how to use essential oils to cleanse and support our body to look and feel better and I cannot wait! I’m offering it all year long so you don’t have to sign up in January but I hope you do! I want you to do it with me so look for that next week.
So prison, yoga & oils—–2015 should be interesting.
Tell me about your goals or your word for 2015!
So what to do with all that sugar you’re no longer eating? Well, you could throw it out and thank yourself for being smart and healthy or you could make this super easy Ginger Sugar Scrub and slough off dead skin while you say goodbye to old habits and hello to a fresh, glowing new you!
Feel free to add your favorite combination of oils. I love ginger and lime together, it’s a unique scent but then I added cinnamon to make it more wintery. If I was making this in the summer I would try grapefruit or lemongrass to go with the ginger and lime. Orange would be great with this as well!
This would make a great gift and you don’t have to worry about toxins or chemicals so anyone could enjoy it. If you know someone that has recently been sick, this would be great for them to use because the skin is our largest organ and it’s important to slough off that dry/dead layer of skin.
What you need:
- Mason jar or container you can take into the shower
- 1 cup brown sugar or turbinado sugar
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1/2 cup coconut oil
- 5 drops cinnamon essential oil
- 20 drops lime
- 7 drops of ginger
Mix ingredients together.
This makes 1 cup and yes, you could eat it but please don’t!